sometimes i wish you were just a cheque at the end of the month.

drowning, drowing, drowning

i'm drowning.

and everyone's just watching

i don't trust myself

you have them all fooled.

your mask is so thick now it wont fade overnight

your stupid jokes and preoccupations are seen as the shallow truth

nobody's doubting your happiness, they go on

they don't feel any ruth

you're only still trying to hoax yourself.

because you cant wrap it around your head

you look in the mirror to a fake smiling face

but you see darkness and pain instead

maybe underneath you want to slip and for people to question

you're really crying out, you want their attention

but everyone just goes on with their youth

so you ignore yourself, just as they all do

you avoid asking the questions to avoid hearing the truth.

like a broken cassette that still plays hoping to blend in

she holds herself together, holds her breath, her emotions all kept within

every now and again you can here a scratch in the tune

she knows she's gonna break maybe later maybe soon

but the song has to go on, the world won't wait tonight

she has to exhale, let it out and step into the light

they have no idea, you have no idea

I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe.

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

fuck everything.

Remember those walls I built


well, baby they're tumbling down


and they didn't even put up a fight


they didn't even make up a sound

I’m excited to see the city,

I’m excited to get out of here.

friend	390 up, 93 down
	A person who would never intentionally hurt you, lie to you, deceive you, manipulate you, abuse you and who takes great care to be kind to you, honest with you, dependable and loyal. Someone who you trust without question because they have never given you any reason not to trust them. Someone you enjoy being around and look forward to seeing. Someone who would sacrifice themself for you.

good to know.

falling down ain't falling down,if you don't cry when you hit the floor

we're running against the clock

but the hands won't seem to stop

the calendar pages keep turning

and the leaves turn from green to red

you're face doesn't look the same

you've become such a stranger

the distant gap between us is growing

i can't seem to recognize your face anymore

where did my love go? 

where did you go?

they say nothing lasts forever

but you were my endeavor 

we must have missed our warning sign

i've fallen countless times

still have the bruises still have the scars

i've been a reckless mess

with nothing to look up to besides the stars

i've surrendered and lost all trust

gave everything up,watched it all turn to dust

but i keep descending, keep hitting the ground

crying out for help to turn it all around

do your trick

why can't you just whisper all i want to hear

you can lie just pretend to be sincere

tell me that things will change

that things will shift and rearrange

i don't need truth, just a little hope

a glimpse of faith, to help me cope

promise me a brand new start

or just something to fool my heart

final straw

"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

fresh

it's time for change and a fresh start.